As mentioned not long ago, there are a few social tactics that I am a total failure with. Two that have significance right now are 1) how I loathe talking on the cellphone for long periods of time and 2) how I am not a fan of traveling on my own. I need to see someone’s face when I talk because those nonverbal cues count for a lot. Text messaging has a greater appeal for me than phone conversations since you can turn a simple phrase or line into something wonderful with the appropriate diction and emoticons. Then, there’s traveling solo which, already complicated by me not owning a car (not that I complain about that), is just about as exciting as counting tiles.
Anyways. My friend Erin, who a year ago left me for the District, called Sunday night and we talked for just under an hour. When she called, I knew to check the clock so as to not exceed the 30 minutes I designated as an appropraite length. Once 45 minutes came along, I realized that I wanted another 30. Erin is someone who draws me into conversation so thoroughly that it becomes a tangled web from which I neither can nor wish to escape.
Still, the previous time we had spoken was… maybe 2007. I simply don’t know. Erin and I both are talkers, but I fail at talking on the phone. I hate picking up when someone rings, even if I have minimal reason to do otherwise. It’s difficult to describe, but I have this resistance to talking on the phone. It must be chemical. Text me all you want - you’ll get quick replies back if they are necessary. But, randomly call me when I am even somewhat occupied and an alarm goes off warning me of my social deficiency. It is hard to actually describe this. I’ve been getting better about this with family, but still nothing spectacular. Truth is, most people call me when I am unavailable. Oh yeah, I don’t like voicemail, either; it’s like talking on the phone, but even less svelte.
After my talk with Erin, I discovered I now have spring break 2008 plans. That’s a bit into the future for my typical planning, yes, but my finances suggest I likely won’t make it to NYC for the third spring break in-a-row. It’s tough to get me to travel. Perhaps recreational travel does not appeal to me because I quickly classify it as superficial. I suppose that if a trip were as purposeful as any given day then the experience would settle better.
Right now, I’m thinking of my friends and the numerous attempts of contact they have or have once made in my direction after our paths parted. Sometimes I wonder if it’s better to have a constant flux of friends or to hang on and nurture those that really mattered. Even the latter method suggests that you’ll eventually end up with another throng of close friends who’ve meant so much at one point or another.
At what point in my life am I expected to stop making friends and settle down, carefully keeping track of my closest confidantes and acting as if my current working/personal relationships are extraneous happenstances that unfortunately crossed my path too late?
Music: Coldplay, "Clocks"