RyanHarne.com

Restlessness. I’m not precisely sure where I picked it up, but denying its presence would be ignorance.

I ironed just-washed clothes this afternoon. Ninety minutes of ironing. No music, speaking, or sound at all during the whole ordeal, except for the token hiss and murmur of the device itself.

I read about physics and quantum theories tonight. Upside down. Don’t ask me why, but I was able to pull it off with only the soreness of having too much blood in my arms.

On top of this, my sketches have become mindless doodles. I’ll hope this is only a phase. I should reiterate; this is not depression, this is restlessness.

I’ve spent the last two days interviewing for a prospective university position that could last me until I graduate. I would be tempted to lie here and say it was for research into something exotic like “human interface positioning systems” or “the environmental effects of general human stupidity” but the position is considerably more lax than that, although the management of which is still significant.

I am applying to be an RA, a resident advisor. After my freshman year, I had applied, but I wasn’t very adamant about the job, and truly just wanted a room to myself. This time, after I’ve dwelled on the idea of being in a position like an RA, I am considerably more adamant about having those responsibilities and roles. When I mentored freshmen engineering students, I gained an appreciation for helping a few people specifically in a small role. While I am teaching at the Math Emporium, I am applying an enjoyment for trying to do what I can to satisfy the minds of many people and put them at ease over insignificant mishaps and faults. All of sudden, I am excited about the potential of being an RA and… well, making sure no one vomits in the halls, keeping peace between volatile roommates, and filing tedious paperwork for the discovery of illegal drugs in the bathrooms.

That was humorous, of course, but I am looking forward to this possible job. My group interview was a smashing success, as well. Were the general crowd of applicants all featuring the same professional caliber of my group, I may be in for a challenge to get a spot. But, all the same, I had a great time meeting a few candidates and talking to higher-ups in the ResLife staff.

The only way to follow up that endeavor was to watch a film of extraordinary genius. Ed Wood is SO good, and there is no reason why I haven’t seen Plan 9 From Outer Space in almost two years now. The history behind the deranged director is hysterical; his genius was so, so self-fulfilling it’s difficult to believe he actually lived among us. Watch Ed Wood when you get a chance. Please.

After a week of testing, quizzing, kicking and screaming, I am heading into the final stretch of what has been the most stressful period since… oh, fall finals, I would say. Unfortunately, I can’t say that the tasks of today are going to be lighter than the previous hurdles; they actually promise to be either a knock-out punch or a knife-in-the-back. Even though I listed two negative, possible outcomes, I’m actually rather optimistic about today.

That’s why I’ve started this day off with a quad. No, not the Quad, but a hand-baked, mega-fresh quad latte. And some of those mints, too. Despite, those mints’ ability to eat my stomach lining, they have a knack for waking me up. You give some, you lose some.

Still, once I get through this evening, I have that cross of all the other stuff I haven’t started yet and is due next week to bear.

No, really, I’m actually quite optimistic. Trust. Me.

I was going through a drawer in my desk, the one that everything random is tossed into. Old sunglasses? meh, you get the drawer. Batteries? definitely, the drawer. Useless novelty objects acquired at career fairs? ::points to drawer:: see you next fall.

I needed some Scotch tape this morning, but I found so much more. There was a pack of Eclipse mints with an unviolated freshness seal sitting patiently inside, perhaps waiting for this very moment. But at first, I didn’t notice them because they are mints, I really don’t like mints, to be honest, but the metallic case they were in was letting off some excess luster in my direction. I grabbed them and the rest is history.

The case is similar in size to a 9V battery, even shaped like one. I get a feeling this cheap metal mint case was expected to see a second lifetime by becoming a D.I.Y. battery pack or a guitar pick case, because it would serve both uses equally well, apart from mint-transport. That’s certainly a clever idea on behalf of the designers; plus “Eclipse” is embossed into the side of the case, hinting that, despite eventual wear and tear on a world-wide tour or constant destruction in a backpack or laptop bag, Eclipse would always get the last laugh.

So, I really only want the case. But there are mints inside. Mints that I certainly don’t want. But I am willing to sacrifice for the sake of the case. What followed next may shock and appall you.

I started taking these mints somewhat like I eat M&Ms. It’s been ages, decades, epochs since I’ve had mints, so I suspected the correct consumption of them involved small handfuls into one’s mouth. WRONG. These Eclipse mints are not called “Winterfrost” without reason. Instantly, my mouth began to tingle in ways unbeknownst to the common man. I rushed to grab some water. BAD IDEA. The cold water only amplified this now-unbelievable chilling rush taking place in my mouth. I can imagine that is a Peppermint Patty made people feel like they were alpine skiing, then I was experiencing an avalanche near the Everest summit.

Now, my stomach is aching. And this beautiful, metallic case sits on my desk mocking me. Watching me type, knowing I will soon pick it up for battle royale number two. I HATE YOU, GORGEOUS MINT CASE!!!!

When you’re single on Valentine’s Day, there are a few quick & easy band-aids to help soothe the solo blues (or to help filter out the marketing/holiday jibberish). One: pamper yourself with lavish foods and mercantile goods. Two: make other feel special thereby providing, what they call, “natural high”. Three: pretend you’re not single and tell others you are set for an exciting dinner date.

Of these options to pick through for 2006 Valentine’s Day Spectacular Spectacular, I chose options One & Two. I did, however, exclude the mercantile goods from option One seeing how I am a poor (or frugal) college student. But, I lavished those savory foods as best as I know possible. As far as option Two is concerned, if there is such a thing as a natural high, I must have gotten more of that in me today than caffeine. Which is odd; odd because my caffeine intake is proportional to jet fuel consumption for a trans-Atlantic flight.

Anyways. It may be the late-night coffee speaking (it is), but Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone. And please forgive my miniscule delay (’twas studying).

I don’t usually enter grocery stores without strict limitations to my purchases. This list was: Total, non-fat milk, shaving cream. Short and sweet. But at the same time, it was freezing outside and I didn’t favor the idea of waiting in the intense cold for the bus when I could wander around the Kroger with my pre-selected products in basket.

So, I wandered. And I found some granola cereal that looked tempting. And some bagels that were on sale. Oh, and some cookies. And I still didn’t have that shaving cream.

I turned into the grooming aisle and the intercom instantly turned on and began a message of ultimate salvation. “Experience the Future with Gillette!” Then something else about their new shaving cream called “Fusion”. Apparently, it has the ability to redefine who you are and will be, and also provides the smoothest surface for razors to glide over since silk.

The pointed message alone was enough to bend my willpower towards whatever sales pitch they had for me. Were I passing the pastry section I would have just as much faltered to a marketing ploy to buy out their selections of danishes were the right advertisement targeted to my attention. But then again, I’ll buy out a danish stand any day. Any. Day.

Thus, I left the store contented with my Total, granola cereal, non-fat milk, cookies, and Gillette Fusion. Just as I had planned.