french ventriloquism
I’ve been surrounding myself with geeks. Ok, I came clean. Now, let’s get over this, please.
Yes, I like working at the Math Emporium where I get to answer questions like “Where’s the square root button on this calculator?” and “How can I be sure this thing actually saved my grade and sent it to my teacher?” In down time, admittedly, we talk about stupid crap. One of the guys I work with has 3 PhDs already and while listing them out chronologically, I thought the last one was “French Ventriloquism”. You see, when you’re around the maths so frequently, dull humor is the best. And you begin to address your beloved hobby as The Maths. As if they have a committee and marble-inlaid tables. And free coffee.
I went to a coffee seminar on Sunday. I know, that was “forever ago”, but the experience is worth noting somewhere else outside of iCal. It was at Starbucks. Me attending a coffee seminar at Starbucks is somewhat analogous to me attending a “Computer Users” club that consists entirely of Windows fanatics; but, I suppose that is equivalently called “online multiplayer gaming” and I detest playing video games. Anyways. I went to Starbucks to talk and learn about coffee. Tip: to experience coffee more fully, eat something with it; this works like you would not believe! Not only will a pastry taste better, but the coffee will have thousands of other savory aromas (and remember to eat/drink both in a paced manner). As a form of gratitude to the nice Starbucks people for giving me lots of free coffee and pastry samples (and (soon-to-be chocolate-covered) coffee beans), I bought a coffee scoop/tamper because I previously only had the dinky plastic thing that came with my espresso machine. Plus, I bought some pre-ground espresso roast.
Unfortunately, my espresso maker didn’t like their fine grinding techniques. It spat steam everywhere and made noises that I thought only occurred during occasions of severe human pain. After I ignorantly let the machine “fix itself” by waiting a few more seconds for it to attempt pulling a shot, I turned it off, cleaned up my extravagant mess, and sealed the roast up. I took the remaining quarter-pound back and explained to the Starbucks lady. She looked at the roast and poured out a sample and said “Oh my god! they ground that way too fine!” So I got new, somewhat more coarse espresso roast, a free coffee, and a free bagel.
I was going somewhere with all of this, but tonight is one of those nights. Those nights are the ones filled with homework, meetings, modest attempts at relaxation, and a desk full of odd items that have ensuing significance (if only I could remember for what for each). A good way of portraying the chaos is a baby being born into a world of neon signs, tireless advertisements, and purposely-addictive restaurant chains; being drawn in so many directions at once, the child is left hopeless at the mercy of the functional collaboration of the nefarious members of a wayward society.
Oh, now I remember where I was going with all of this. It’s September. Wait. What?