ultimatum for debate
Ok, people. Let’s get serious. I’ve had enough of these “um, I’m not so sure about those sideburns” kind of comments.
I want action. I want decisiveness. I want you to come up with the best possible reasons to why I should or should not keep these wicked chops.
I will be handing out brownie points left and right. I’d like participation from the entire spectrum of readers. Vulgar or sincere; it’s the thought that counts.
Start your keypads. Go!
May 18th, 2005 at 11:04 pm
I LIKE the sideburns. With a jaw that chiseled and defined, it’d be a shame NOT to try some sideburns at least once in your life. As long as they don’t go Elvis-68-Comeback-Special on us, I definitely think you should keep them! *mwahs*
May 18th, 2005 at 11:28 pm
I don’t like them at all, personally. I don’t think they’re thick enough to invoke an image of “19th century mad scientist.” To be honest, they remind me a little of the kind of little “line beard” that the blinged-up Italians from my hometown always used to wear. I don’t think they’re you. At all. Besides… you have such pretty skin – why hide it with hair?
May 18th, 2005 at 11:40 pm
I think I need to redirect the aim of these reasons. “Best possible” reasons and “vulgar or sincere” implies, in my sense, to be ridiculously critical or lauding.
For example, “Ryan your sideburns have been giving me flashbacks to the time when my girlfriend vomited in my mouth when we were making out.” Assuming you were trying to tell me to get rid of “the burns”.
May 19th, 2005 at 12:07 am
You need to shave them off before you start looking like Kevin Federline.
May 19th, 2005 at 12:31 am
Despite my previous attempt to convince you to relieve the world of that dirty shame on your face, I will try once more. The burns, as you call them, make you look quite ugly. Do you want to look ugly, Ryan? If that was your intention, then so be it. But, if that was not your intention, woe upon you for failing so miserably towards a goal. Make the world a better place by shaving that wretched couple of patches from your otherwise decent face.
May 19th, 2005 at 4:38 am
Please, please, please… Wipe out those fancy dead animals from your face…
Do it for yourself. Do it for the world.
May 19th, 2005 at 7:28 am
JimmY2K - If you are trying to influence me along the lines that my sideburns are an endangered species, then telling me to wipe them out isn’t especially tempting. However, you have a point.
And thanks for calling them “fancy”. Never before have I considered that adjective a possible descriptor for facial hair.
May 19th, 2005 at 1:17 pm
It looks like some hair dribbled down the side of your head and then fell off near your chin onto your keyboard. I think they gotta go.
May 19th, 2005 at 1:40 pm
Personally, the burns just confuse me! I mean, it seems like, with those burns, you should be wearing all black and that you would smoke and speak vulgurly and spit on those who gawk. But, on the other hand, you actually are colorful and smart and nice. They just don’t mesh well with your personality. Are you going for a new personality? ! fun!
May 19th, 2005 at 5:57 pm
i agree with the line beard reference.
and line beards are creepy.
sometimes they make your face look fat too.
and as we all know
you are not fat.
do you want to look fat ryan?
i didn’t think so.
May 19th, 2005 at 10:26 pm
Stew - Very nice. Very horrifying.
Abigail - Nice point. I suppose I could look chubby for a while though, a change of pace perhaps. Or rather, a change of face. Hehe, I’m funny. Sorta. Sorta not.
Is that all of you people have to bring?! And what about those other people who are still hiding behind your browsers! I can take your criticism, trust me; if you make me cry, I’ll probably take you out to dinner. And crying due to laughter would also count.
May 19th, 2005 at 10:51 pm
After accusing you of ugliness and fatness, I am not sure what else there is that would be effective. I am beginning to think that you have turned this commentary in to an organic polemic of your choice…
May 20th, 2005 at 11:30 am
Ryan,
If you’re going to show off those wicked ‘burns, then turn your head!
Especially if you want peoples to give you a little complimentableness. 
or complainableness 
May 21st, 2005 at 12:04 pm
Oops…you asked for responses from the entire spectrum, and this small portion of the spectrum fell down on the job (blame the midnight showing of Episode III and having to work a full day the next day; I’ve been catching up on sleep ever since, so blog-reading has been limited).
So even though I’ve been a goatee-wearer for a long time, I’ve never been much for the sideburns extending past the ears. That “1890’s retro” look you had going in that picture didn’t seem like it would work well today, though it would’ve been great for one of those old-fashioned black-and-white photographs that people sometimes have taken of their families.
May 21st, 2005 at 2:21 pm
I missed the pics of the “new look” or should I say “old look”? Please send me a pic please!