you are autumn
While some would say this is my metrosexual, sensitive side shining through, I would argue that I’ve always been prone to enjoying human emotion even in grief and sadness. I find it incredible that we have been granted an endless supply of ways to sort and categorize what happens to us in strategically personal affections that grasp and catch us in our own times.
I don’t believe I am over sensitive about anything. I would like to believe that I am just very in tune with my feelings and emotions. It disturbs me to carelessly forget my past experiences and anecdotes. Each event of my life has led me to this place where I am at now. No single or group of events can be eliminated and still produce the same me. Thus, I am always conscientious about my emotions, not desiring to leave or discard any of them.
In times of sadness I grieve, stress, and experience slight depression. All depending on the realm and manner of the occurrence. When I am glad I feel joy and happiness (not the same emotion at all) and I am able to view the world in a more pleasant light. But when life is mediocre and monotonous, as it tends to be most of the time, I attempt my best at not becoming lackluster in my outlooks.
I love poetry and I love a good book (at least now I do). The written word provides so much more depth and substance than does any other form of media or communication. I’m not big on tv at all, except the occasional Seinfeld or Simpson’s episode. Movies I enjoy fantastically when they allow me to think deeper and look into myself and into the world for answers. The internet is just an iffy thing for me. IM is so uncordial and impersonal; I can’t wait until I get a Mac and an iSight so I can see and actually talk to the person I am communicating with. Effective communication is very important to me. Although, sometimes I feel better saying almost nothing; yet that speaks in itself. There is no such thing as ‘not communicating.’
And that’s why I’m taking several communications courses; although since they got rid of the minor *arg* I can only take so many classes before they aren’t counted as electives any more. Anyways.
I hope you’ve taken this time to enlighten yourself rather than sit in front of your computer playing some addicting game. So consider this your, and my, moment of zen.
‘When I have fears that I may cease to be
Before my pen has glean’d my teeming brain,
Before high-piled books, in charactery,
Hold like rich garners the full ripen’d grain;
When I behold, upon the night’s starr’d face,
Huge cloudy symbols of a high romance,
And think that I may never live to trace
Their shadows, with the magic hand of chance;
And when I feel, fair creature of an hour,
That I shall never look upon thee more,
Never have relish in the fancy power
Of unreflecting love;- then on the shore
Of the wide world I stand alone, and think
Till love and fame to nothingness do sink.’
- When I have fears that I may cease to be, by John Keats
Let not selfishness and pride supersede our ability to enjoy life as it is, content in all that is offered to us.
Perhaps this was a very random blog. I don’t care. I just wanted to permeate how I felt; I like to emote.