RyanHarne.com

So now to comment on a few things I’ve left out on the past couple of entries.

The Joy Electric concert at LU was interesting. First there was some who-knows-who local, most likely LU-alumni, band that was not good at all. Their vocalist was ok, but he tried to play soprano sax and he wasn’t good at all, his sax talent seemed to rest entirely on slurring (aka just blowing air and moving fingers, instead of actually articulating notes specifically). Their drummer wasn’t very good either, and neither was their guitarist or their bassist. So that wasn’t a great show. Then was Kerry Knight. Wow…Incredible. He’s one of those unheard artists who truly has talent, but his style is so rare and unusual that it’s not attributed to the normal popular trends. He’s like a white rapping ska guy. I can’t describe it and unfortunately I can’t locate any website with him on it. Oh well.

Ok now about the JE part. First, let it be known that not many people in this world, especially Americans, enjoy the trance techno genre. More people would enjoy straight techno, but JE plays a very smooth rock techno feel that isn’t widespread. So while a portion of the crowd semi-danced and completely loved the show, a great majority of people started being and were dancing around in the retard-est of fashions, completely making fun of the part of the show. Very, very insulting to JE. Somehow JE continued on, doing the best to ignore the that ruined the time for others, so I’m impressed at the true quality of person[s] JE is. But Rianna and I were really…annoyed. We ended up leaving after JE, entirely skipping the punk portion of the show (something I didn’t want to stay around for anyways). Overall, I was surprised how in a drug and alcohol-free environment the students become even more immature, seems almost contradictory to me. So, like I said to some people - the concert was great, but the people sucked.

Now for a personal shout out. This goes out to all of THP [The Hiding Place]. Our parting is permanent now and I know that I will miss you sincerely. Keep in touch (I like getting a real email) and take care.

Notable: I was the only Relay for Life participant in my group that actually cleared the $150, not counting the teacher who organized it for us, who also sold over that amount. I am a candy-selling machine!

Oh and prom prep has begun. This year looks to be highly enjoyable and eventful.

I have no idea of how to say this.

Last night I had a conversation with Rianna before the JE concert, and one of her comments kind of went unnoticed and forgotten by me. She was mentioning something about how great it would be to live on some remote island by herself without having to deal with ‘circumstances’ and ‘issues’ that other people bring into our lives. Now I know what she meant.

Today was a significant day for some, others is passed by unnoticed. It was a momentous occasion for a few and benign to the rest. To me, I truly had a breath-taking revelation (not to be ‘all high and mighty’ but I just realized something and it hit me so forcefully). I began to understand the complete futility of my life. That I live for no more than another day. Not another chance, but just another existence. Sure I have those in my life that I consider friends and I have relationships with people that are very encouraging both ways, but if I totally become honest I’m just living for myself. And this will sound weird but I know when and where I started to think like this. It was immediately after I watched About A Boy for the first time. Right after I viewed that great movie, I adopted, Hugh Grant’s character, Will’s mindset about life which is along the lines of, ‘let me be myself and live on my own and I’ll be just fine.’ So I started backing away from many things I was involved in at the time, and I just started trying new things within this town etc etc. I unconsciously became very angry at people and at the things I was dealing with in my life. Cutting straight to the point, I began to become ‘Will’ from the movie. Living for nothing, just…to live. Now that I’ve narrowed myself in a corner with this epiphany, I feel so crappy. I am the one to hate. I have lost feeling of life and of existence. It’s almost as if I have succeed, if you even want to call it that, at becoming all flesh and no soul.

Nevertheless, I feel dramatically ashamed at this state I’m in. I’m not one to mope about in sorrow and dismay so I’ve realized that my course and life from this moment must to be to find a solution: a meaning to my world. This may sound like a secular viewpoint, but I see it as something that anyone can talk hold of and put to action. Admittedly there are many Christians who have no grasp for really living, life to them is just another breath away.

So consider this my Point Of Inflection. I’m halfway up the wall; I could come back down and travel the same distance I would if I climbed to the top, but it won’t be nearly as exhilarating.

I am Ryan Harne. This is the story of my life. This is RyanHarne.com.

I’m working on a new site design, expect something around mid-late May. Thanks goes out to DeviantArt.com for inspiration.

The college thing looms so closely, I haven’t even quite grasped its nearness yet. There’s only 30some days left in my school year at JF and then…well that’s it. I wonder if everyone goes through this phrase of reckoning with yourself. Regardless, I’ve begun my list of what to get for my college life and with some advice and help from my alumni brother I’m beginning this new trek.

My job is in jeopardy thanks to some ‘budget shortfalls.’ This isn’t good because it will be impossibly hard to find a good job now that Spring Break has passed, unless I have massive connections somewhere…hmm..

Ahh…this week has just been long. Mentally I’m just dead; so much thinking and rerendering what’s in this brain. It’s hard to really write down this whole effect, so just get the idea that my brain has like 512MB of memory and I’m trying to run easily 1GB of apps. Oh nevermind, I’m so dead.

Anyways, I totally re-did my room yesterday. Looks good. With very very little on the walls now, my room looks huge (and that’s a good thing). Moving into a 12×12 dorm is going to be rough for me, I like my big spaces. ::sigh::

This has been such a waste blog. I can’t think straight at all right now and my thoughts are coming out in the most non-chronological order. Ooooh well.

Tonight is a Joy Electric concert. This should really set my mind at ease.

“I had to catch the bunny again…It’s like football. Only furry.” - Jeremiah regarding his attempt at capturing an escaped rabbit.

Spring Break update - Things are going fine. I’ve yet to actually start some homework. I slipped into a trance yesterday and was whimsically taken away into Photoshop. Some good ideas, but nothing has clicked yet.

Tuesday I had my college physical. I had to get two shots. Nooo fun. It’s not that I’m terrified at needles or blood, but I simply don’t like having to endure pain as a part of a ‘procedure.’ But the appointment went well. I found out I’m basically at the point where my body will not grow anymore (at least vertically). So I guess I truly will be the only VT College of Engineering student that’s not six feet or taller. Oh what fun!

Since I am Mrs. Boswell-Beer’s official envelope licker, I’ve experienced the many tastes and smells that each individual envelope maintains. Some are simply gross, while others are obviously flavored (oftentimes mint-flavored). Just today I had to seal an envelope of my own and was overwhelmed at this minty rush I got after licking the seal. Maybe it’s just me, but I get a kick out of licking envelopes.

I wanted to see a movie last night so I went to the Dollar Theater. I’ve never before seen such a full parking lot. It stretched past Staples. So anyways, I went to see The Two Towers once again. It’s definitely better a second time. But I remember seeing it the first time and expecting so much and was highly disappointed. Admittedly, it’s not a complete wonder of a film, and there are definitely some weak points, but it’s still an amazing film that’s a part of an amazing trilogy.

I know my site doesn’t change a lot, so I’m working on a rather lively design and layout. Hopefully I can get a soon to take care of these pic issues.

I’m going to try and write a blog when I’m #1) not in the mood; #2) can’t think well; and #3) am very tired and worn out. So here goes…

This past weekend has been great. My family, at least part of it, left for MD Saturday morning for some Easter holiday ‘gatherings’ and such. It was great, so was the food. Speaking of the food, my grandmother came up with a new recipe for a dessert. It’s called “Dump Cake”…that’s right…and you heard it here first.

So the rest of the trip was good. Lots of messing around with my other grandmother’s new PC. Then we left and came home. Prominent cars spotted: a late 80s Porsche 911 Turbo, and a 2001 Porsche 911 Turbo.

Oh, and Happy [belated] Easter!

Sunday night I went to see Catch Me If You Can, again, with Kristine. Great movie; good times.

Today was work in the morning, lunch at Osaka’s, and then I got to see the LP DVD. I didn’t like it nearly as much as the video they have on Meteora, but it was ok. So, some more good times.

Then, after a Coffee Road Rally Tour, I get home and find out I won a scholarship (and for some reason I always spell it plural then have to delete the ’s’…anyways). So, that’s very cool! Thanks to Scott & Stringfellow for their help in this college dream.