justification
I’ve been listening to Meteora a whole lot lately. And am still being completely fascinated by it. Not long after I actually finished listening to the whole album on Tuesday I watched all of the video footage that was included on the CD. And I’m simply speechless. They take music and art so seriously; I’ve never known of any artist that pays attention to every minute detail that could even remotely affect an album. And their result: artistic purity.
Lately my life has been a huge kaleildoscope of self-discovery. With such little time left before I’m gone, and most likely won’t be coming back, I’ve been really absorbed into finding out what I’ve become over the last 17+ years of my life. And I’m not about to write my life story right now, nor will I do that at all, but lately everything has been opening my eyes. The beauty of nature. The complexity of life. Social conformities. Having friends to talk to and understand with. The whole self-discovery thing was incredibly heightened after I looked at some early 90s yearbooks in my CollEng class. How many of those people are remembered? Most likely less than 1%. So, what am I? Who have I become? Am I going to be yet another forgotten face in Who’s Who? As LP says, ‘It’s easier to run,” and I agree. But that’s not what I want to be. I’m sick of burdening myself with social pressures and ideas that I have to follow certain patterns and routines. I want this weight to be gone; this pounding headache to vanish. I feel so much like I’m in the Matrix just wandering around finding out that my life has been no more than a facade of hopelessness and futility. Arg. So things have naturally been very confusing and distracted/disrupted for me but nonetheless I know, and know with all soul, that God has a plan for me. It may be easier to run, but I can’t imagine that falling back into the ever-loving arms of God is without reward.
And also lately, I’m having such a hard time writing coherent blogs. Excuse my lack of eloquence.