RyanHarne.com

Approximately two months remain of school. This is definitely a ‘mixed blessing.’ Am I going to be yet another yearbook face? Hopefully not.

In my AP Gov. class we’ve been recently covering the US Supreme Court and, now, civil liberties and civil rights. I find this incredibly interesting and thought-provoking. I hate hearing people bash the Supreme Court when they make a decision regarding whatever (and most flak is due to the controversial issues, obviously). The justices are not deciding on opinion, they are simply underscoring the best interpretation of law. Sure, most people don’t agree with homosexuality, but they can’t be denied their rights as individuals; sure, abortion definitely isn’t something I support, but who am I to say, in America, that it can’t be a choice for someone? I am very grateful for people like our SC justices who spend their lives on the mind-bending issues that simpletons like…well, most of America just can’t understand. So, I’m rather enjoying my AP Gov. class for the time.

Also, on another political propoundment, I find it difficult to accept the positions of many anti-war activists. I’m not saying I’m anti-anti-war protesting but I’ve begun to notice how much of a general position that assumedly a majority of these people take. Most are just ‘Pro-Peace’; ok, that’s fine but peace at what cost and consequence of pacifism? Some are in the mindset that economics drive America in every issue, even more so in Iraq; admitedly this is true to some degree, but the US is the only major world power that has the profound ability to help other nations, not to mention the implied responsibility of just that.

I think thus far that the media, especially the embedded media, is doing a great job of portraying the truth of this Gulf War II. One thing I’m still confused over is the constantly conflicting reports over how Iraqis are responding to this. Some are reporting that the aid and assistance is greatly needed and they accept it, and us, with open arms; while others say that there is much Iraqi resistance and anger over this ‘invasion.’ Hmm…I guess we’ll find out after this is all over, super-hopefully soon.

Also, thanks to Jeremiah for the blog and, of course, the conversation.

I saw Daredevil last night. I didn’t want to see that but with a lack of other good movies and having two friends who simply had to see it I gave in. And I hated myself for it. Where Spiderman sucked Daredevil picks right back up and sinks even lower. This movie was worse than reading it in a comic book. Sure it had Spiderman-like graphics (not to mention a verbatim Spiderman plot…gag) but it was just not impressive. I did enjoy talking back and forth with other movie go-ers, like when I answered some guy’s question (who was several rows behind me) about what movie a certain character was in. I thought that was amusing 2.1 out of 10.

Also, this weekend I got the new Relient K cd, “Two Lefts Don’t Make A Right…But Three Do”, for $10. It’s very, very good. Although it loses a lot of its fantastic edge that “Anatomy Of The Tongue In Cheek” had. But it’s still a great listen and definitely worth the money, assuming you the reader enjoys fast punk/rock.

As the blog title suggests, I’m at the end of something in my life. I’m having a hard time getting this out, so this is just one of my many blog drafts. Within my whole self-discovery relay I’ve had for the past many months, I’ve realized that spiritually I’m not where I need to be. Growth is vital in a Christian ‘walk’ and I feel that I haven’t nearly enough. And the places where most people experience this inspiration and growth is within the church (and for teens, the youth group) of their choosing. Simply, I am currently involved in something that hasn’t aided me in my growth; the organization is tailored more towards ‘beginning’ Christians and those finding out their faith. I understand this, and have talked with my youth director (also one of my best friends) many, many times about taking a break to go allow myself to grow in other places that have a level of ministry that can relate to me. I had a talk with him last night and he was very supportive of me going out in search of other places that provide ways for people like me to grow in their faith. So, consider this my point of inflection. What comes after this will just come from God, and Him alone.

I’ve been listening to Meteora a whole lot lately. And am still being completely fascinated by it. Not long after I actually finished listening to the whole album on Tuesday I watched all of the video footage that was included on the CD. And I’m simply speechless. They take music and art so seriously; I’ve never known of any artist that pays attention to every minute detail that could even remotely affect an album. And their result: artistic purity.

Lately my life has been a huge kaleildoscope of self-discovery. With such little time left before I’m gone, and most likely won’t be coming back, I’ve been really absorbed into finding out what I’ve become over the last 17+ years of my life. And I’m not about to write my life story right now, nor will I do that at all, but lately everything has been opening my eyes. The beauty of nature. The complexity of life. Social conformities. Having friends to talk to and understand with. The whole self-discovery thing was incredibly heightened after I looked at some early 90s yearbooks in my CollEng class. How many of those people are remembered? Most likely less than 1%. So, what am I? Who have I become? Am I going to be yet another forgotten face in Who’s Who? As LP says, ‘It’s easier to run,” and I agree. But that’s not what I want to be. I’m sick of burdening myself with social pressures and ideas that I have to follow certain patterns and routines. I want this weight to be gone; this pounding headache to vanish. I feel so much like I’m in the Matrix just wandering around finding out that my life has been no more than a facade of hopelessness and futility. Arg. So things have naturally been very confusing and distracted/disrupted for me but nonetheless I know, and know with all soul, that God has a plan for me. It may be easier to run, but I can’t imagine that falling back into the ever-loving arms of God is without reward.

And also lately, I’m having such a hard time writing coherent blogs. Excuse my lack of eloquence.

Saturday I saw one of the greatest movies I’ve ever been privileged enough to see. Catch Me If You Can is beyond the realms of good. First, it begins with the single-handedly best opening scene/credits I’ve ever seen in my life. Then it starts right into the plot with great present/past segues. The acting is led superbly with Hanks and DiCaprio, not to forget Watkins. This is a must see! 8.2 out of 10.

Sunday I got the Chicago soundtrack; I’ve yet to actually see the movie, but I hear it’s very, very good (and apparently the Oscar’s will agree). But the soundtrack is simply great. The best way to describe it is ‘dirty jazz,’ it has quite the raunchy and cabaret feel to it, as it should, I suppose. I can’t stop listening to it. Great stuff.

But every now and then I put it down to listen to the new Linkin Park cd, Meteora. The cd jumps perfectly from Hybrid Theory, the sound is similar but there’s so much new territory to cover. I’m impressed. And thanks to Kristine.

I’m not really sure how to put my opinion of the war into words. I know Saddam should be taken out of power, but I can never say I’m totally pro-war. I should make it know however that I would even more support America’s pulling out from every world institution (including removing all military from foreign bases) to fortify and help grow this nation, but then again I see so many backlash possibilities from that. So I guess that I am pro-removing Saddam, not necessarily pro-war. I have this feeling that an all-out assault like we are doing now isn’t necessary; perhaps our mission or removing the regime could be effectively taken care of with a large sniping group that infiltrated Iraq. But once the regime found out about that they’d go into hiding faster than we could get another shot off. Maybe this full-scale attack is necessary. Just whatever we do, this regime better be gone, dead, and finished and be replaced by an Iraqi people government. Let’s just pray for a smooth transition of power. Not to forget praying for our troops.

I’m not one to normally have a ‘long week’ but this week has literally seemed to take…days. Seriously, I remember last Sunday and it seems that it happened so long ago; my whole time frame has been messed up, not to mention this huge lack of sleep I’ve piled up over the last couple of weeks.

This Friday night and Saturday morning was a lock-in/all-niter that I was invited to at the Lynchburg Church of Christ. It was pretty good. One thing I want to comment about before I forget; that auditorium stage had some of the best sound projection I’ve ever heard in my life, it’s as if vocals and instruments are right in front of you. Amazing. But yeah, first they had food (high in calories, cholesterol, and sugar) then we went to AMF bowling. I relaxed during this time, but it was still a great time there. Then we went back to the church for more food, movies, and a ‘talent show.’

The first movie was A Walk To Remember. I had heard so many incredible comments about this movie that I was delighted to finally get to see it. Unfortunately, I didn’t agree with those people. From the get-go the plot was simply awful. The plot progression was so fast that it made a mockery of the real life situation that the movie/book was based on. The allusions they made to previous events (like the boy’s parent’s divorce and the past of the girl) were apparently supposed to be ‘givens’ for any viewer - big mistake. Also, very bad cinematography, lots of awkward shots and poor uses of focus. A 2.3 out of 10. So after I had completely tore this movie apart, I was wondering if my criticism of movies had been tarnished by overcritique, because I still remembered all of those good things people said about it. So I went to check it’s averaged rating from nationally recognized movie critics at movies.yahoo.com and it scored a D+. They all bashed it at the same areas I did, so now I feel confident about my critiquing abilities. Not to say I’m anti-chick-flicks but this one really sucked, really.

The other film was Extreme Days, the worst excuse for a movie ever. It’s simply just the combination of a road trip and extreme sports. There! you’ve just seen the entire film. Notice I didn’t say anything about it having a plot. 2.5 out of 10.

But overall the lock-in was just fine. I had a good time. Now its just time for sleep and rest, and then homework and essays.

Ahhh, I have so much to write about. Let me get these thoughts straight; so much jibberish and confusion.

First, today was our pizza party in College English because we won some contest a very long time ago. The ‘party’ was awful; who wants to eat pepperoni pizza at 8:30AM on a Wednesday? But it was free food, so I had a different breakfast today.

Tonight was the big concert at JF. First was the trombone quartet, of which I consist of one-fourth. That went ok; lots of mistakes however because we weren’t perfectly practiced up. Then was the University of Tennessee Trombone Choir, which is basically a lot of different trombone ensembles. They were stupendous. I was just in awe as I watched them play these ‘ridiculously’ hard arrangements and watched them groove to some incredible jazz stuff. Wow, great! Then the Advanced Symphonic Band played our festival performance again. It actually wasn’t bad, at least for the trombones (the four of us were dead after the other performance so we weren’t expecting to be able to play much afterwards). Anyways, it went well and many people were entertained and impressed. Bravo!

I have two things to comment about. The first would be substitute teachers. Now, let it be known that I respect all teachers, even the ones that truly make me angry and annoy me. But on those odd chances that a regular teacher is not available and a substitute comes in my attitude perhaps can change. Last Tuesday was an example of that. A certain sub took over our Physics II class for the day and gave us our assignments. I had already done the assignments and was working on a special project in the class so I instead worked on that. The sub, however, didn’t believe me and felt I was irresponsible and foolish, so she treated me like the dirt of the world. So ::skip to the end:: it was not a good class and I left wanting to write something about it in my blog.

Secondly, I have further reason to dislike Avril Lavigne. I admit that there are a few of her songs that I enjoy, but her styles, emphasis on the plural, have worn out. And I noticed that in “Complicated” she has actually stolen a rhythm and lyrical pattern from a song written in 1999 or 2000 by Rachael Lampa. The part I’m talking about is the “life’s like that” that is repeated several times before “Complicated” begins; this segment was first used by Rachael Lampa in her song “Live For You” and is at the same part of the song with the same melody and lyrics. Interesting…coincidence or further proof that Avril has lost all conscious?